Where do countries come from?
by Animeimaginationgrl
Summary: Modern era. A possible answer to the title. No true plot since it's really just a crack writing, 9 new characters. I think it's funny personally, better read than it sounds. Rated for language. Contains boyXboy, don't like don't read. Pairings: Gertalia, SpaMano, RoChu, slight CaUS, slight FrUK, slighter AustroSwiss, slighter PruHun. Two-shot, no specific characters. PURE CRACK.
1. Chapter 1

_**Where do countries come from?**_

A kind of crack story with mini ficlets inside on my insane theory of country evolution… Introduces 9 new characters and this fiction is really more centered around them but hey...

_**Featuring pairings**_ such as: Gertalia, SpaMano, and RoChu, with slight CaUS, slight FrUK, slight AustroSwiss and slight PruHun.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, just my nine characters that I created for this fiction.

The following "chapters" will be labeled as "encounters" btw.

* * *

_**Austria's Encounter:**_

The aristocratic country sat at his piano, as usual, soft classical music from Beethoven filling his silent home with beauty and tranquility. People often ask him if he got lonely, what with Italy and Holy Rome being long gone and Hungary and his marriage ending decades ago, she moving onto Prussia (though she still visits him and protects him from France's and even Prussia's antics).

The answer is no.

Though yes, at times he did get lonely, he just sat a piano and began to play and all loneliness would slip out the window (which he left slightly ajar to let in the fresh air from outside). That is why Austria was playing his piano now, he felt a bit lonely earlier after he had finished eating his breakfast alone. He was considering paying Switzerland and his sister a visit, but knowing that guy (and himself) the two would do their best to one-up the other despite their own personalities and will probably end up arguing in the end.

Not worth it.

As Austria ended his song he heard two pairs of hands clapping from his open window. Opening his brilliant purple eyes he looked towards the window to see a pair of people, one man and woman, whom he had never seen before. Both looked to be in their older years, the woman seemingly more easy-going than her male partner. The woman had gray shoulder length hair that was cut in a loose bob-style haircut, golden eyes shining as she clapped her amusement out in an overly excited way—kind of like Italy. The male on the other hand, though it was apparent that he enjoyed Austria's performance, was a bit more restrained in his actions—much like Germany actually. He too hand gray hair that appeared shoulder length but it was tied back, deep, dark, almost black eyes barely showing a shine. The duo outside Austria's window also had similar tanned skin tone, not normal with humans of the area.

"Simply amazing!" The woman sounded, her voice not sounding like her age at all. She sounded like a teenage female, voice crisp and young and high. "One of the best I've ever heard."

"Contain your excitement, Laura." The man told her, his clapping subsiding whist her continued.

"Oh, but who _can _Gordon! Music is so wonderful!"

The man rolled his eyes and stood up, he coming up to an easy six foot one, taller than Russia by a few inches. Tucking his hand under her elbow he yanked her up onto her feet, she coming just a few inches under him. While the man wore black slacks and a white buttoned up shirt with a purple tie, the woman wore a white, cap sleeved, knee length dress with purple and pink flowers on it. "Sorry for disturbing you Mr. Austria." The man apologized, bowing his head slightly as he began to walk away, pulling the woman with him.

"Bye Mr. Austria!" The woman waved as she was being dragged away.

Austria sat at his piano bench, frozen with confusion. "Who were those two?"

_**America and Canada's Encounter:**_

"Still… you can stop being an asshole." Canada softly spoke as he walked with America in New York City.

America laughed in his usual obnoxious way. "No way dude! I'm the hero!"

"What does that have to do with—"

A laugh from America interrupted him. "I'm just that awesome!"

Canada sighed and rolled his eyes. "I don't know why I hang out with you. I much rather spend a day with Kuma." Canada said, only speaking the first four letters of his pet's name for he had forgotten the rest. He'll have to ask his bear friend his full name once he gets back home.

"What's that fluff of white got that I don't?"

Canada thought about it for a moment, a small smile poking at one corner of his lips. "Sharp menacing claws that can rip through human flesh."

America stopped suddenly as Canada continued on. "Ha, ha, ha! You're just joking!" He quickly jogged up to catch up with Canada. "Right?"

"Sure…" Canada said with a sigh. The other nation didn't like that answer one bit. Grabbing Canada suddenly he dragged him into a barren alley way and pushed him against the wall, his hands pressed up against the wall on either side of the Canadian's head. "Ow! What the—"

"You have to like me more than the bear." America stated as he stared into pools of violet eyes. "I'm a person! That's like, automatically a hundred times better."

"… Yeah if the person doesn't forget who I am."

"The damn bear forgets you all the time!"

"… I forget his name most of the time too." Canada said with a shrug. "Besides, he stays by my side all the time."

America groaned and dropped his head on Canada's shoulder. "He's a _pet_. He _has _to stay by your side." He whined in this seemingly one-sided battle to gain Canada's whole affection. "And we're nations… we can't be with each other _all _the time. It's _impossible_ dude."

The Canadian nation smiled softly and lifted his arm to wrap around the other's back. "I know Alfred." Canada said patting him softly on the back. "That's why I have Kuma. At least you have the World Conferences to keep you entertained. I hardly get invited to anything."

America turned his head and looked at Canada over the top of his glasses and saw a face that was smiling back to him in a mixture of sadness and understanding. "Mattie…" America whispered as he lifted his head from the other's shoulder, lips itching to make contact with another pair of lips when a voice interrupted them from the opening of the alley.

"Ew…" The voice chuckled out. "You guys are brothers, you do know this right? Incest much." The two nations turned and looked at the opening to find a woman of average height leaning against the wall adjacent to the one Canada was pinned on. She had blonde hair, much like the pair before her that was probably a little bit past her shoulders if it hadn't been tied up in a high ponytail with a red hair tie. She was a bit over weight, wearing typical blue jeans, a red t-shirt and black boots that a normal teenage girl would wear during this modern day and age. "Wow…" She chuckled out as she pushed herself off the wall and turned slightly. "Well… at least you two aren't blood, ha ha, _then _that'd be a bit crossing the line." She chuckled once more and lifted a hand in a goodbye gesture. "Bye dudes."

She turned around the corner, disappearing into a crowd of people that were walking by at the same time, unbeknownst to what was happening in the alley. The two nations slowly separated from each other, the moment long since ruined, the same though plaguing their minds being voiced out simultaneously. "Who the hell was that?"

_**Germany, Italy, Spain and Romano's Encounter:**_

"Damn potato eater." Romano cursed, mentally cursing the stupid double date his little brother forced him to attend. With Spain he was happy to go, but Romano wanted nothing to do with his younger twin's stupid German boyfriend.

Germany groaned softly. He had the unbelievable luck of sitting next to Romano in the car as they headed to their next destination, a park. Where were they you ask? In Spain's country enjoying the Spanish countryside. The German sighed and turned his head a bit away from Romano as he spoke. "Can you please just try to get along for once?"

"Never." Was the quick reply and Germany sunk deeper into his own self-despair. He knew the moment he started dating Italy that the older Vargas twin would become less and less polite and more and more hostile. Even with Romano's own boyfriend on his opposite side, Romano was still as harsh, if not more so, than ever.

"Oh, come on now, Roma." Spain sang out as he moved his arm around Romano's shoulders and pulled him towards his side in a half hug. "We should all be happy to be spending a day together with our loved ones and family, ¿sí?"

"… Shut up… damn tomato bastard." Spain laughed as a result and pulled Romano closer to him.

"Ve~!" Italy sounded as he clapped his hands together. "I can see the park now!" Italy quickly moved and grabbed Germany's hand in both of his. "Isn't this so fun Luddy?" He then beamed his megawatt smile at the German, and the taller man couldn't help but smile back, blushing slightly at their conjoined hands and his smaller boyfriend's excitement.

"Ja, it's very nice."

Italy giggled and then squealed when the car came to a stop. "Wee!" Italy continued squealing as he flew out of the car and ran out to the first grassy field he saw. "Come on! Hurry!"

Germany chuckled softly as he climbed out of the car after Italy while Spain and Romano got out on the other side of their private car. "Wait here, por favor." Spain told the driver as he and Romano walked away from the car to join Germany and Italy on the grassy knoll.

"So where are we going you bastard?" Romano asked his boyfriend, crossing his arms before his chest in mock agitation. Secretly he was really enjoying this day out with his brother and boyfriend (minus the German potato muncher).

"You'll see." Spain said with his signature smile as he began to lead the small group to a section of the park that he had roped off for privacy, two members of his Spanish guard watching over a white metal table with four chairs that sat under a large oak tree, a beautifully prepared lunch set up on the table.

"Wow, Spain!" Italy mused as he rushed over and glanced over the food. Pasta and pizza made with the freshest tomato sauce, some freshly baked herb bread and a small chocolate cake with strawberries, just big enough for four people, for dessert. And of course, wine for the drink. "This is amazing! Gracie!"

"Ja, Spain. Germany agreed as he pushed Italy's chair under him and took the seat beside the younger Italian. "This looks very good."

"Gracias usted dos. Thanks you two." Spain tried to push Romano's seat for him but of course the older Italian twin pushed him aside and pushed his own chair for him, muttering something about 'not being a girl' and 'tomato bastard… _thanks_,' the last part being very softly whispered. Spain took his seat beside Romano and clapped his hands together. "Let's eat shall we?"

"Ve~!" Italy sounded again, going straight for the pasta.

Suddenly two guitars started to sound, and Spain, looking terribly confused (for he was the one who planned this segment of the date) started to confuse the other three as suddenly two people, a man and a woman, the woman being white and the man being tanned, like Spain but darker. The woman (of white a short stature, just under five feet) had short, brunette hair that was to the middle of her back, eyes, much like the color of her hair sparkling at the pair of lovers. The male was much taller than his companion, being closer to five foot ten, had his black, short hair spiked up all over, his rugged face adding to his handsomeness as dark blue eyes also had that same sparkle that was in the woman's eyes.

The woman wore a pink, strapless sundress that stopped mid-thigh with white, flower patterned flats while the man wore a pair of really nice blue jeans and a red and black quilted patterned shirt, the top few buttons left unbuttoned to reveal a white tank top underneath, and on his feet, shiny black boots shined in the sun as if they were newly polished.

As randomly as the two had shown up and the music began playing, the duo began to sing together, a song that was well known to the two couples.

_(In Napoli where love is King, __  
__When boy meets—boy, __  
__Here's what they say)_

The man began to sing as the woman changed her guitar to a tambourine that seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

_When the moon hits your eye__  
__Like-a big pizza pie__  
__That's amore_

The woman then began to sing, the two seemingly taking turns as they sang the song to the couples who were currently experiencing mixed reactions.

_When the world seems to shine__  
__Like you've had too much wine__  
__That's amore_

As the two sang together in the chorus, Italy grinned and began to eat again, seeing nothing of being serenaded randomly (plus it was a song he quite enjoyed). His elder brother on the other felt his eye brow twitch. He couldn't decide wither the singing was enhancing the lunch or ruining it… he was swinging towards the latter.

_Bells'll ring__  
__Ting-a-ling-a-ling__  
__Ting-a-ling-a-ling__  
__And you'll sing "Vita bella"__  
__Hearts'll play__  
__Tippi-tippi-tay__  
__Tippi-tippi-tay__  
__Like a gay tarantella_

The man sang the next verse, circling around the table with a silly grin on his face. Germany too was feeling his eye brow twitch. He had heard enough of this song what with Italy's constant singing of it. And really he just wanted to eat his lunch in peace with his boyfriend, his brother and Spain.

_When the stars make you drool__  
__Just like pasta fazool__  
__That's amore_

The woman sang next, she mimicking the man's movements around the table.

_When you dance down the street__  
__With a cloud at your feet, you're in love_

She had stopped behind Spain as she sang the words 'you're in love.' Spain, who was still confused at the uncalled for serenade, slowly fell into just enjoying the serendipitous moment and began to eat as the woman joined the man again after singing her verse. The two joined together once more, singing in perfect harmony. The two's singing intensifying as the song does, they becoming more energetic with each passing second.

_When you walk in a dream__  
__But you know you're not dreamin', signore__  
__'Scusami, but you see__  
__Back in old Napoli, that's amore __(When the moon hits your eye__  
__Like a big pizza pie, that's amore)_

"_That's amore." _The woman sang, being adventurous enough to give a small peck to Italy's check, the nation giggling a rubbing the spot with his hand, a blush rising to his face. Germany scowling as the woman flittered away.

_(When the world seems to shine__  
__Like you've had too much wine, that's amore)_

"_That's amore." _The man sang this time, not being quite as adventurous as he female companion but still having the guts to take a small swig of Spain's wine.

_(Bells will ring)__  
__(Ting-a-ling-a-ling)__  
__(ting-a-ling-a-ling)__  
__(And you'll sing "Vita bella")__  
__(Vita bell-vita bella__  
__Hearts will play)__  
__(Tippi-tippi-tay, tippi-tippi-tay)__  
__(Like a gay tarantella)_

"_Lucky fella." _The man sang in a sweet tone, playfully nudging Germany's arm, moving away just quick enough before a fist made contact with his side.

_When the stars make you drool just like pasta fazool__  
__That's amore (that's amore) __  
__When you dance down the street__  
__With a cloud at your feet, you're in love_

"_When you walk in a __dream," _The man began strumming his guitar lovingly, glancing over to his companion as she began to sing.

"_But you know you're not dreaming, signore…"_

The two then came together one last time, shoulder to shoulder as they sung the last lines of the song together in a beautiful flourish.

_'Scusami, but you see__  
__Back in old Napoli, that's amore (amore, that's amore)!_

The random duo then began to clap together towards the two couples. "You four are _so cute!_" The woman squealed as she gave a few energetic jumps in the air.

"For you two." The male sounded, a sign of a Hispanic accent behind his voice, as he gave the two Italians a bouquet of red roses with some white flowered baby's breath. "Pode amar para sempre em suas vidas (1)." The man then spoke in Portuguese.

"Adios y ciao mis amores." The woman added as the two then, just as randomly as they appeared, disappeared, running hand in hand over the hill in the distance.

The four sat at their table, a bit flabbergasted to say the least. Germany looked to Spain. "So Spain was that…?"

"No… sorry."

"So then what…?"

"I have no idea." Spain called over one of his guard and questioned him about the two and the guard simply stated that they were to perform at the lunch by Spain's orders. Spain then sent him away. "I have no idea." The Spanish man repeated again as he looked to Romano, who was staring at the roses in his hands in shock.

Germany groaned and placed his head in his hands. "Mien God… what just happened?"

"Even more so…" Romano spoke up slowly, putting the flowers carefully on the table as if they could bite him back. "Who _were they_?"

_**France and England's Encounter:**_

An average sized man wandered around the town of London with a large scowl on his face, amethyst eyes scanning the area angrily. People passing by him would probably guess that the man was so cranky because he was wearing the heaviest duty jacket one could buy, that was all black with the only other color being the white fur that lined the outside hem of the hood that was up upon his head (covering up a head of bleached white hair that was cut into a short Mohawk, with short hair still around the sides of his head) in the summer heat. His hands were stuffed deep into his fleece lined insulated jacket, a bag swinging from one of his arms, his jogging pants making that aggravating scratching sound as he walked, his fur lined, brown boots stomping on the sidewalk. The man cursed aloud a few times, earning a few shocked and rather angry gazes from some passer-byers.

"Of course they give me the goddamned hottest and muggiest place. I ask you… is it so fucking difficult to just leave me in peace in my snowy solitude?"

From the bag at his side poked out a little white head with a black nose and eyes. "Eep." The baby Ross seal squealed in response. "Eeah… eeaah…"

The man suddenly stopped before a bench and in the next second sat down and pulled the seal out from the bag. "It's feeding time isn't it? Sorry I forgot. It's just so damn hot." The man said as he did a complete personality 180 and began feeding the seal from a baby bottle.

This attracted some attention, and eventually some calls, and just as the man was finishing feeding the seal, England and France (who was 'just visiting' his old friend), came before him. "Excuse me, sir." England began. "But I'm afraid that you cannot have that—"

"_Aw _my _goodness_! Look at the baby seal!" France squealed as he sat on the bench and began to look closely at the animal. "So cute! J'en veux un!"

"You can't have one France; it's illegal to have a baby seal. It should be in the wild or in a sanctuary or a zoo."

"I am not giving Aurora to you, or putting her in some zoo." The man stood as he placed the seal back in the bag. "I am here to—"

"You must hand over that animal at once!" England insisted, a hand reaching out for the bag.

The man's brow twitched. "Aurora is _not _an animal! She is my friend!"

"A friend that is illegal!"

"_Your_ face should be illegal! It's so damn, fucking ugly, Mr. Too-Thick-Eyebrows!"

France erupted into laughter and fell back on the bench, sprawling out on the bench as he continued to laugh and both England and the seal owning man continued their fight. "Now, listen here, sir, the way I present myself should not be any of your concern."

"Yeah, and neither should your shitty so-called food but it's giving me indigestion."

France roared in laughter again and England shot him a glare which went unnoticed by the other man, his so called boyfriend (more closely in related to husband really with how long they've been together and their interaction). "My good sir—"

"I'm no one's 'good sir,' Shit-For-Brains. Why don't you find the London Bridge and fall with it?"

Once again the Frenchman had a burst of laughter and ended up falling off the bench, bumping into the seal owning man who groaned and stepped away from both the bench and the odd nation-duo. "F-France!" England yelled, trying to get the other nation to one; stop laughing, and two; actually be of some help in this situation. "Get up, you wanker and help me!"

"I'm afraid no amount of help will change your fugly look and your even fuglier food."

France laughed and she used England's pant leg to climb upwards and into a standing position. "Oh, merciful God. Where has this guy been all my life?! His insults are beautiful, no?"

"No!" England disagreed.

The white haired man just rolled his eyes and began to walk away. "Screw this and screw this country. I'm going back home."

England did a double take and watched as the man walked away. "H-Hey! Hey! Stop you damn prat! Give me that seal!"

France wrapped his arms around England and held him (while the other struggled) until his laughter had subdued. "Ah, let him go mon ami. It was obvious he wasn't British, and once he returns home the authorities there will handle it."

"Let go of me you damned twat. You didn't even help me! And you _laughed _at his insults towards me! I am very angry and disappointed in you."

"That will change throughout the night." France said with his signature pervy laughter.

"IN YOUR DREAMS, YOU _WANKER_!"

_**Russia and China's Encounter:**_

"This is nice, isn't it-aru?" China asked as he cuddled with the newly obtained panda bear that Russia had won for him in a carnival game. It was one of China's many cultural fairs and the two decided to attend it for their date today, enjoying the rare time they have together with wandering up and down the stands, eating many different types of food and enjoying a few rides now and then.

"Da, it is." Russia agreed, the hints of a smile coming onto his lips. "You become one with Mother Russia now, da?"

China groaned softly, his shoulders slumping over. "No-aru…" Russia's smile grew a bit, he knew that was what his smaller, fellow communist nation would have replied, but it never hurt to ask. One day he would receive a 'yes' from his lover, and that day is quickly approaching. "Why do you keep asking-aru? You know I will say 'no'."

"Hm." Russia responded.

"Hmm…" China mimicked slightly as he sighed, straightened his spine and hugged his new panda a bit tighter. China loved his boyfriend but sometimes it was hard to know what the taller man was thinking and that scared the older one quite significantly. At first China was just scared of the seemingly colder man but after the two really got to know each other China saw that it wasn't the case. Russia was really a nice person and he would never hurt China (perhaps the other members of the G8, save for maybe Italy since he was harmless) but to hurt China he would never do.

Eventually the older nation just dropped his guard and began dating the younger, yet so much taller, nation and has enjoyed being with him ever since. They weren't necessarily the perfect couple—far from really. They had their fights and sometimes would refuse to talk to the other, but they would always reconcile (and the make-up sex was always _to die for_). But China still wondered what was with Russia always asking 'You be one with Mother Russia now, da?' constantly, at least once every time the two saw each other. China simply couldn't understand what Russia could possibly want… and every time he tried to ask Russia about he always got the same response 'Hm'.

Suddenly the two came across a booth that seemed to be very popular. The two pushed their way through to the front of a large crowd, Russia's hand holding China's for he didn't want to lose him in their quest to the front, and when they finally reached the front they saw the reason as to why there was a big commotion.

A petite woman with hip length (it was braided, the braid being slung over one shoulder), dual colored hair (brunette colored hair at the top and black hair underneath), sat cross-legged on a table, in a mid-thigh blue (with very intricate gold designs), sleeveless, white colored shift dress, with white, plain flats and a slim-fitted fur lapel, tulip colored woolen coat tossed to the side, was watching over an equally stunning dark skinned man deal with a African wild dog with stunning emerald green eyes.

The man was tall, towering over the woman much like Russia towers over China. His head was shaved down but you can still see the darker black of his hair contrast against his ebony skin. He was shirtless, wearing nothing but mid-calf length olive green pants with native African patterns running down the sides of the pants and dark brown, ankle high leather boots. Light brown, almost golden eyes, watched carefully over the multicolored animal before him as the dog dig tricks and obeyed his master. The animals was just as impressive; it mostly being a golden tan colored dog, with specs of black and white running in unique patterns throughout its body, black around the muzzle and inside the wide, circular ears, puffs of white fur coming out as well from within the ears. Dark brown eyes staring at his master, obeying his silent orders, a single black stipe of black fur running from the top of the head town to the muzzle.

All at once the man puffed out his chest and the dog jumped up into his chest, the man quickly putting his arms below the dog to hold the dangerous wild animal, the man moving to show off this remarkable animal. China clapped awkwardly (he was still holding the panda in his arms) as Russia just stood and smiled. The dog jumped out of his arms and walked around his legs before sitting on his haunches beside the man. The woman jumped off the table and began to speak in Chinese, the words lost to Russia as she urged the crowd away. "Thank you for watching the show." She spoke in Mandarin. "We will continue again in an hour so come by again then. Thank you again." Just as China and Russia were about to move away the woman suddenly spoke in English to them, so that they both could understand. "Except you two. Come here."

China and Russia looked at each other, each with their own suspicions as they walked to the two (three with the dog). "Are you the personified forms of China and Russia?" The woman asked, in an almost uncaring voice, the man behind her standing straight and tall and intimidating (well to China anyway, Russia could take him).

China began to freak out a bit on the inside; humans (outside of their bosses, the government and the military during wartime) were supposed to know who they really are. "Hehe, personified countries-aru?" China chuckled out. "What nonsense-aru. I am Wang Yao, enjoying a nice festival day with my friend Ivan—"

"Do not lie." She sighed out, boredom apparent in her tone of voice. "I just needed to pass on a message to at least one member of the G8." With that the two countries became suddenly serious and upon that the woman led them inside to a tent, having the man and his dog keep watch outside. "At the next World Conference meeting, it is supposed to be all the major countries correct?" She began immediately when they stepped into the tent.

"Yes. The G8 plus many others-aru." China responded, still skeptical but wanting to see where this heads to.

"Knowing my fellow companions none of them have succeeded in their task." She continued. "Just tell who ever will be running the meeting at the time to add an additional nine seats."

"Nine seats?" Russia spoke up then. "For whatever reason?"

"For now, none of your concern." China felt a shudder of fear for the girl who just back talked to Russia. The nation in turn smiled and the beginning of that purple aura began leaking out from him. "Do not pull that with me Ivan Braginsky." She attacked, her accent changing suddenly from Mandarin to Russian. The aura stopped oozing out of the large nation, if not retreated a little. "Вы будете делать, как я говорю, и без проблем (2). Do I make myself clear?" The two nations nodded simultaneously, the menacing purple aura all but gone now. "Good." She said simply, her accent once again to Mandarin. "You may leave now." She added as she motioned towards the tent's opening.

The two nations wandered outside the tent, past the man and his African wild dog and continued on their way throughout the festival, much quieter due to the strangest of encounters with a pair of very strange people.

_**At the World Conference:**_

"So… uh, who was it that we were supposed to wait for again?" Canada asked, though he went a bit unnoticed all except for America who re-voiced his unheard question.

"So, like dudes, who're we waitin' for again?" America practically yelled in the conference room, nations from all over the world in one room.

"I have no idea-aru." China spoke up, staring first at the nine seats at the end on the massive table before looking at America. "Russia and I were just told to prepare nine extra seats-aru."

"Da. And she did not inform us on who we were to be expecting." Russia added smiling faintly.

"Who is _she_?" England asked. In response China and Russia shrugged. "Well I do hope they arrive soon. This is wasting our valuable time waiting for them."

"For once we are in agreement." Germany sounded as he crossed his arms before his chest and leaned back in his chair. "This waiting is—"

At that moment the double doors slammed opened and a woman that Canada and America quickly recognized burst through the door. "Wait no longer! The continents are!" She laughed; arms extended in a 'glamour' pose before she strutted into the room and took the empty seat all the way to the left, sitting beside Romano who stared at her like she had grown a second head. "Hey, how you doin'?" She asked him casually as she got comfortable in her seat, her blonde hair whipping in the air as she spun around her chair around.

"Did you just say continents?" Austria questioned as more people walked through the door.

Following behind the blonde came the two that Russia and China had encountered, the woman taking her seat beside the blonde and the other taking the farthest empty seat to the right (his dog following behind him and laying down on behind his seat), sitting beside Austria. Behind them came the duo that Spain, Romano, Germany and Italy recognized instantly, the woman once again going to the left to take the third seat away from Romano and the man taking the third seat away from the right, adjacent to her. Next through the door, accompanied by a seal in his arms, came the white haired man, his hood down, taking his spot between the two newly seated men, a scowl on his face.

"You-!" England sounded as he rose quickly from his seat only to be cut off by one of the voices of the last three people to enter the room, the door closing behind them.

"Don't mind him." A deep, masculine voiced sighed out. This man was extremely tall, around six feet and a half, easily towering over the tall man that Austria had seen outside his window (the woman that was with him was the third person). He was being flanked by the gray-headed man and woman, he looking a lot like the two. He had short snow white hair that was combed back with bright blue eyes. He wore a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up a bit past his elbows, a thin black tie around his neck and black slacks and sharp-toed dress shoes dressing his legs and feet. "He's just really cold-hearted."

The tall woman giggled, a hand being placed over her mouth. "Nice one, Papa."

The man sighed and moved forward, the two that flanked him taking their seats, the woman to the left, the slightly shorter man to the right and then the man called as 'Papa' in the middle. With that the nine extra seats were effectively filled. "To answer the questioned posed…" He began with a soft sigh. "Yes, we are continents. I am Pangaea (3), the first and largest, to my left, my 'daughter' Laurasia (4) and to my right my 'son' Gondwanaland (4)."

The two continents waved at the nations, the male speaking up to them. "Just call Gondi, it's easier that way." His wave then turned into a sideways gesture, his hand moving to his left towards the direction of the other three males. "My 'sons', the closest to me is South America, then Antarctica, and finally Africa."

"And my 'daughters'," Laurasia began as she too gestured to the females to her right, "Europe, Asia and North America, from closest to farthest."

A silence took over the room, one that was a combination of awkwardness and confusion. The silence stretched on, eventually seemingly taking over the whole plans of this particular meeting. Pangaea sighed again and rubbed his face in his hands, muttering, "I'm too old for this…"

Suddenly Italy beamed a smile. "So, what brings you here?" He asked in his typical happy-go-lucky attitude. "Why introduce yourselves to us now? I'm sure you could have done it a lot sooner!"

"My stupid little fratello actually has a point for once." Romano muttered as he glanced towards the continents near him. "Why now of all times?"

Europe giggled and clapped her hands together. "We came here to fix a little misstatement."

"Misstatement?" England sounded, he finally taking his seat. "What misstatement?"

Gondi sighed and placed his hands together, his elbows on the tabletop. "I'm afraid it has something to do with Australia over there." Across the way, about halfway down the table, all eyes went towards Australia and he in turn glanced down the way towards the continents. "Though it is correct that Australia down there is just one full country, we have to state that he was a continent first and we just wanted to bring upon the notion of simply disowning him officially."

"Whoa…" America sounded as the others in the room became equally shocked.

"You see a long time ago," South America began in a mixed accent of Spanish and Portuguese, "dear ol' dad 'misplaced' our fellow brother Australia and left him alone on the continent instead of with us."

Europe picked it up from there, her accent also a mix of accents; such as British, French and German if one could believe it. "Wouldn't you know it? Once humans began bustling about Australia was not only mentioned as both a continent and a nation but it has recently come to our attention that he's been looked at more as a nation than what he really is."

"And so, it is with a heavy heart," Laurasia began, "that we claim to disown Australia officially since we had long since regarded him as a nation ourselves."

Pangaea leaned back in his seat. "And for purposes of easily differentiating the two, we decided to call Australia 'Terra Binominis' (5) for his continental name."

Australia erupted from his seat. "Listen here, mate. I am so terribly confused right now. I don't remember my life as a continent."

Antarctica snickered once as he petted his seal Aurora. "You might have remembered, if you didn't fall off a cliff in your continent and washed up on mine, dumbass."

South America slapped Antarctica in the arm, giving him a 'What was that?!' look, Antarctica shrugging it off. North America chuckled. "When Mr. Literally-Cold-Hearted-Bastard over there found you washed up upon his northern shore you couldn't even remember your name, or who we were."

Asia rolled her eyes faintly. "Thus it was up to us to at least tell you your name and put you back on your continent."

Australia shook his head. "And you didn't even think to take me back?"

"This was during the time when humans were evolving, and you had already become, in their eyes, the first nation in the world and not a continent. We couldn't take you back." Pangaea reasoned. Rubbing his temple he once again muttered "I'm too old for this" before explaining further. "No matter what we would have done, you were going down the path of a nation and no longer a continent. Have any of you ever once thought of where you nations come from?" After a few seconds of silence, a few shared looks and head shakes, Pangaea continued. "You come from us… well more specifically, _them_." Pangaea motioned to the other continents besides himself, Laurasia and Gondi (including Antarctica as well). "You had lost your ability to create nations." Pangaea continued. "Compared to Antarctica who has yet still to create a nation is still considered to be a continent because no one lives on his land."

"There are only the temporary scientist and the animals. Just the way I like it." Antarctica stated. "And I could create a nation any time I want to… who just wants to handle with that shit?"

Africa then, for the first time spoke up, he having the stereotypical African accent. "Watching over you nations is a difficult job. You handle the jobs that we cannot by ourselves, and that is to manage the land and the people that live on our continents. You nations have to live through so much violence and struggle, and sometimes even death, but you are not the only one to feel that pain. We do too."

Gondi sighed sadly. "Consider us like your parents. Every day we send our kids out into the real world, a world that tears humans apart through war, famine, revolts, what have you; and yet because our kids are immortal (in the sense of the word), they will not die because of it. It hurts us watching you go through that pain, and it torments our hearts."

"We are the true immortals." Laurasia added softly. "We cannot die. Even if all the nations in the world were to just disappear overnight, all the people, all the life on Earth, we will not die, we will only start over again. The only way we can die is if our land somehow sinks the ocean floor and is no longer land, but we are vast, and large, much larger than you would think. It would take millions of years to do so… unless the Earth in one fell swoop then I suppose we all die at once."

Pangaea once again began to speak, he standing as he did so. "I never once fathered a nation, but I did father other continents, and in turn they split into other continents that then created nations… I am like the great grandfather to all of you, and I do consider you all family; every single nation since the first…" he glanced up at Australia then who slunk back into his seat at that moment, "… the first that I had to personally disown, then and now before all nations."

"Harsh dude." America sounded.

North America laughed then, breaking the high tension and overall seriousness of the room. "Harsh? You haven't _begun _to hear harsh. True we did come here to disown my fellow continental half-brother, but we also came here to deal with some shit. Beginning with you." She then stood. "What the fuck man? You say you're the nation of freedom and rights for everyone and yet your government _still _won't give rights to some groups of its citizens, i.e. the big topic of the world right now, the gays?"

America began to stutter and actually sank into his seat. "Well, uh, it's not _me_, per say I just…"

"You're a God dammed nation United States of America, or should I begin to call you the Un-United States of My-Foot-Up-Your-Ass?!"

America whimpered and England began to chuckle. Europe stood up and pointed a finger at him. "You're not safe either England. What the hell man? You were once a kick ass country and now you're lucky to be even mentioned in your own news! The hell!" England only cleared his throat in response. "And I'm just gonna ignore Germany for now, you little fucker. I've got a bone to pick with you since the Holocaust! I can ignore everything else but _really_? Jeez!"

"Don't even get me started on my _own _countries." South America began. "Half of 'em can't even afford to make their own flag."

The arguing and criticizing continued on, Laurasia, Gondwanaland, Pangaea and Antarctica the only ones remaining quiet during it all, even quiet Africa was in the middle of yelling at Uganda for not doing anything against Joseph Kony and his mistreatment of children and forcing them into the army. "And you guys ask me why I don't want to form a nation." Antarctica snipes as he watches the chaos. "And I shall repeat; who wants to handle this shit?"

"I'm too old for this." Pangaea groaned as he pushed his chair away from the table and rubbed his temple, the noise giving him a remarkable migraine.

Laurasia chuckled. "I'm glad that I completely missed out on creating a nation." She commented, agreeing with Antarctica.

"We still have to deal with our 'children'." Gondi sighed out as he reached out and grabbed Africa's dog and held him in his arms before the animal started to chase down Egypt, the new lucky nation being yelled at by Africa (something about the constant riots in his nation). "Down, Zaire." He muttered to the animal whist petting her, the African wild dog calming down enough to stop struggling in his arms.

"I suppose it is quite a job to be parents of such powerful lands with equally powerful nations." Laurasia said.

"You mean in their own right." Antarctica snickered as he watched Europe yelling at Italy for being such a pussy.

"Yes, I suppose." She giggled.

Pangaea groaned and stood up from his chair, slowly making his way to the double doors. "I'm too old for this… I'm going out to a café somewhere."

"Oh! Let me join you Papa!" Laurasia chirped as she stood from her chair and followed the supercontinent.

"Don't leave me here with these dipshits." Antarctica spoke up as he stood and followed behind his 'aunt'.

Gondi sighed and stood up as well, Zaire jumping off him and onto the floor. He grabbed a notepad and a pen, scribbled a message to the other continents of where they were headed and turned towards the door. "Come Zaire. There's no way I'm leaving you here in this mess."

The African wild dog barked after him, following behind his footsteps, the double doors closing behind her and hiding the chaos inside… the chaos of The Nations vs. The Continents.

* * *

After this a bonus chapter on the lives of the continents together (more crack basically). The next bonus chapter will be a bit more into their interactions together, revealing a few more things and so on…

Other than that what did you think of this crack fiction? I liked it but hey, you never know. Flames are welcomed for this story cuz heaven knows.

The song used in this story was_ **Dean Martin's "That's Amore"**_ which I also do not own!

Now for the _**footnotes**_:

1: Pode amar para sempre em suas vidas. Portuguese. Translates to: May love forever be in your life.

2: Вы будете делать, как я говорю, и без проблем. Russian. Translates to: You will do as I tell you and without trouble.

3: There are multiple spellings of the supercontinent Pangaea… Pangæa or the more commonly spelled Pangea. Technically the version I use is the second spelling of Pangaea, Pangæa being the first and Pangea being the more recent spelling.

4: When Pangaea was beginning to split up, it split into two smaller yet still very larger continents. Laurasia is the combination of North America, Europe and Asia (more commonly known as Eurasia) while Gondwanaland was the combination of South America, Africa, Antarctica, Australia, and Arabia and India (more often than not rarely mentioned, Arabia more so than India; the Canada's of the paleontology supercontinent {Pangaea} theory).

5: "Terra Binominis", a Latin phrase meaning a "Land of Two Names". Not a real name for the continent/nation of Australia (just made for the plot of this fanfiction).

**PLEASE REVIEW! MUCH LOVE! FLAMES ARE WELCOMED. BONUS CHAPTER NEXT.**


	2. Bonus

Bonus chapter all on the continents and just one of their typical days… This is gonna be a short chapter, nothing much, just offering a bit more information on the continents including their human names.

* * *

Pangaea's home was nestled on an island in the Atlantic ocean, not far from the coast of Portugal, where he was considered to be a citizen of Portugal. He had bought his island home in the hopes that none of his 'family' would come and bother him as he entered his repeatedly interrupted, self-imposed retirement (he has been trying to retire for nearly twenty million years but his family just has to keep on pulling him out of it). But it would seem that the oldest being on Earth couldn't escape his children nor his grandchildren.

Hence why all of them (minus disowned Australia of course) were crowding in his combined living and dining room in his particularly tiny Portuguese style home.

Around his dining room Laurasia, Gondwanaland and their favorite children Europe, Asia and South America, were drinking and eating Pangaea's teas and snacks that he had baked for _himself _that morning unbeknownst that his family were to invade him that same early afternoon.

In the living room Africa was petting Zaire on the floor; Antarctica was sitting in a sofa feeding his baby seal Aurora; and North America was sprawled out on the loveseat, sleeping.

Pangaea's eyes scanned over the scene before him from his kitchen, washing a mountain of dishes that apparently his family can't do themselves. They had been here only three hours and they had successfully eaten him out of house and home… living on an island wasn't easy. He has to go to the mainland every time to shop, an easy two hour journey on his yacht, then he has to shop and then have the same two hour journey back home, all of which cost money; money that doesn't grow on trees despite his underlings' thoughts.

North America at that time chose to snap out of her sleeping spell and stretch out, still sprawled out across the loveseat. Her bones cracked and a loud, drawn out yawn escaped her mouth. "So anyway dudes…" She began after a few seconds of silence following her yawn, "what did you think of our little nation children?"

"Some could be better than they are now…" Africa remarkably began. "But most are well rounded…"

"I just hate the fact that it only seems to be South America and Africa that have it bad." South America commented. "I mean, I know every where's got its problems but damn! We're poor as fuck in our nations."

"You can't say it's your fault." Gondi spoke as he grabbed a piece of that morning banana nut bread. "You're a continent; it's your nations' fault for not keeping on it."

"What I don't understand," Europe stated, "that if they say they're nations—which they are—why aren't they being more of a contributor towards their lands? They _are _the personifications of them after all. They should be able to tell their respective bosses to pay attention to matters over others. Like for example global warming. That's a very important topic ya know."

"You're starting to sound like my son America."

"Your son, sister, is naïve and too hot headed at times. It'll be a wonder if he reaches his three-hundredth birthday."

North America only shrugged. Antarctica scoffed. "This is what I don't get, if you guys are _so _concerned about your little nation children, perhaps you should show up more often and give 'em an ass-whopping every once in a while."

"It's not that easy Antarctica." North America replied as she finally went into a sitting up position. "Continents are supposed to be seen, not heard."

"Unless there's an earthquake or a volcano eruption right?" Antarctica grinned.

"Ha, ha… very funny. _Not!_"

"I thought it was funny. You just don't have a sense of humor Ms. Amanda Sena."

North America rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever Deshal Leanold."

Pangaea at that moment went into his living room, cup of hot tea in hand and he took the farthest seat away from the rest of his family. He had always been an observer, seeing as his time was mostly still earth formation and he couldn't do much of anything until the dinosaurs came. The eldest in the room sighed in bliss. Those were the good old days. Going around being the most strongest and dangerous dinosaurs of each era was really fun. He wished he could do it again. But sadly continents evolve along with the earth and the extinction of the dinosaurs means no more dinosaur bodies for him. His worst time as he then recalls was the time of the Neanderthals. Being one of them certainty was not pleasant to say the least.

But for now he observed his family. His own children, Laura Sena (Laurasia) and Gordon Leanold (Gondwanaland) were really useless. Though Gordon was more like himself (human name Pieter Crile), the continent was very soft spoken and not one to act, while on the other hand Laura kept on getting too distracted and has ADHD… useless.

Out of Laura's children, Amanda was too much like her son America (since she even forgot about Canada until the two started dating), and the twins Halina (Asia) and Angelica-Marie (Europe) were the youngest and were still learning really. He liked them better when they were still Eurasia, they together was the perfect continent, always on top of things like Halina is, but also able to focus on the tinnier details and overall aesthetic features like Angelica-Marie is. When Eurasia split up Halina became too overbearing and Angelica-Marie became too much of a girlie girl like her mother.

On the other hand, Gordon's children weren't much better. South America (Emanuel Leanold) was too obsessed with the outdoors and music and spends most of his time trekking through the Amazon or the mountains of Argentina and Chile to do much of anything (oh and football/soccer too). Africa (Minkah Leanold), though as tough as he is wastes too much time on his animals on his continent much like Antarctica does, and like his brother Minkah was not too much of a socialite towards other bipedal beings. And Antarctica… Deshal… was just plain Useless, with a capital 'U'. The only continent to yet create a nation and has remained unchanged since he drifted down to the most southernmost pole of the Earth, the only changes being the ice sheets melting faster every year and farther due to global warming. And Deshal was too apathetic to even care until an animal species gets close to extinction. He is too much like the humans he so hates.

And that was when North America decided to bring that matter into light.

"Whatever, Antarctica. I know you care about global warming when it affects the population of your damned whales and their feeding grounds. But you don't do anything until it's too damn late like the humans."

"Don't compare me to a human North America. If anything, you're more like 'em 'cause you're so fucking fat I mistake you for a whale every time I see you."

North America gasped and shot up from the loveseat. "You take that back you damned tsundere."

"Nope."

"Take it _back!_"

"_No_."

"Damn it Deshal!" She charged over to him and all at once Antarctica put down Aurora and stood up from his seat, lifting his hands and roughly pushing his cousin back roughly via the shoulders.

"Bring it Chubby-Zilla!"

"Ah, damn it." Gondi cursed as he stood up and rushed over to them. "Stop right now you two. Stop fighting!"

"Fuck off!" The two fighting cousins yelled at him.

"… Africa you want to help me…?" When Gondi turned around he saw that Africa and Zaire had just left the room via the glass sliding door that led to the small amount of backyard on Pangaea's island home. "Shit! Minkah, come back here and help me!" At that moment a fist was thrown by Antarctica and accidently hit his father in the face.

"Oh, shit, sorry Gordon." Antarctica apologized before getting roughly tackled by North America, they falling back and almost landing on the seal on the sofa who let out a surprised and scared squeal. "Damn you _bitch_! Don't put my baby in danger!"

"Fuck your seal, man. You saved it from being dying out on the ice—it's not your damned baby—put it back in the wild!"

"Never!"

Gordon recovered from being punched and threw himself into the fighting duo, trying in vain to pull them apart. "Uh… girls? You wanna help me?!"

Europe was the first to respond. "No thanks. I might break a nail and I just had them done yesterday."

Her sister Asia followed suit. "I don't involve myself in situations that don't directly apply to me."

Finally Gordon's sister responded with a simple, "Nope! Your son."

"_Your daughter!_"

"Not my daughter when she's going off like this. She's _all _yours."

"… _Bitch of a sister_…" Gordon muttered under his breath.

Pangaea felt the start of a headache coming along and he rubbed his head with his left hand (because his right still held the mug of tea). "I'm too old for this shit…"

"Oh!" Laura sounded as she shot up from her seat at the table and skipped behind her father. "Papa, I'll rub your shoulders for you!" Without waiting for a response she began the massage. _That way I'll be too busy to help brother Gordon when he asks again. Hehehehehee…_

"Stop! Please!" Gordon pleaded. "Laura!"

"Nope! Giving Papa a massage."

"Papa!"

"I'm too old for it…"

Europe giggled at the fiasco before her. "I'm going outside to play with Zaire, but first…" Europe went over and rescued the seal from her tight predicament and then went to the sliding door. "You coming twin?"

Asia sighed and finished drinking her tea. "I don't see why I should stay here." She then got up and followed behind her sister out of the house.

"You forgot your own son dumbass!" Antarctica reminded his cousin just as the sliding door closed.

"You don't even have children!"

"Yeah! 'Cause I'm fucking smarter than you!"

"No you're not! Your brain is on ice!"

"And your brain is fried… _in the deep fryer!_"

"_Stop damn it!_" Gondwanaland tried again as he tried to restrain his son and pull him away from his niece.

Laurasia giggled at the sight. "Just like old times, right?"

Pangaea wanted to slap his daughter. This is _all the time_. Instead he just rolled his eyes, took a sip of his tea, decided to try and enjoy the massage his daughter was giving him, and then spoke his signature phrase… "I'm too old for this."

* * *

So that was it. I'm done with this. **Please review.**


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